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Everyone seems to be putting a thought page thingy...and i've been thinking of doing one...so here it is...my thinking page. *my brain hurts*

May 30th

Listening to: Nothing

Mood: peeved >.<

 

You know, being under house arrest for the past week has really did a thing or two to my  brain. Ive been thinking a lot. And I mean.a lot. The Friday night we had the innocence failed concert, there was some shit going down. Theres one person..if I looked at them, Id wanna corpse them up and mail them to their parents. No matter how many time Id ask them to back off and such, they wont. Yet, THEYRE the one who wants NOTHIN to do with me. Fucking Christ. I wish people these days would just grow up. And there was this one girl at the show. Not saying who. But it was the first time I met her.but it wasnt the first time I heard anything from her (no, its not autumn). She says that we suck, we dont have any talent, were uglyor something or other. Yet, when I met her, she says "hi Im *****, I cant wait to hear you guys play tonight!" DAMMIT! Shes ugly! **gag** and a bitch to. Cant even fuckin tell us upfront about her shit with us.

In other news, this fuckin guy that Ive known for a long time has a horrible DISGUSTING secret. I just wanna fuckin knock him out. Oh man. Being secluded in a household (or hell as Id like to call it), can give you a lot of ideas. My life has reached at an all time low. My boredom came to a maximum the other dayI was singing Avril Lavigne and Britney Spears while doodling teddy bears on a piece of paper. Boy oh boythat was the highlight of my week! Actuallyit wasnt. sneaking on the phone was better. muahaha

May 31st

Listening to: The Casualties Kill The Hippies

Mood: Bored as fuckin hell

 

Well, yet another boring day at home. Hoorah for me. **cheers** anyhooters yeah, supposedly we have a show on the 27th with Mike Carsons band Black Rainbow. Fun fun! Hopefully we wont fuck up as much as we did at the home. Were getting more shit on our guestbook thing on our website. I mean, come on, I never knew people could be so fuckin gutless. They wont even say their real name. >.< pisses me off it does. Anyway, we also got merchandise for our band. Well, we didnt make it yetwe gotta get money first. But according to Marisawe get 120$ for the show in binbrook. And we already have 25$ from the home show and some pennies and such, then Im working july 6, 7, and 8 as a hot dog vender like I do every year. Im get to do bbq! Sweeeeeeeet! First year I do the bbq! Usually I just cut the buns or prepare the buns or whatever and Id only replace the bbq guy (whos either my uncle or my brother) when hes on break. Im gonna get tons of money. Probably like 200$. Ill add like 100$ to the band fund. So therefore, well hopefully have enough money to pay for a few hoodies or shirts for the band to wear around. I need a new hoodie anyway.

I got my Mario kart 64 back! We got it back like..Tuesday I think. Im pro at that game now. Whenever I have nothing to do and I dont want to watch tv, I play video gameshey, its exercise for the thumbs aint it?

Anyway, Im done rambling on now.

June 1st

Listening to: Metallica - One

Mood: meh-ish

 

Today is like every other Sunday. Boring. But today extra boring. I think we all know why...last night I was in the house by myselfand sometimes when Im alone in my house I scare myself lol so I called Carson. Fun fun. I borrowed his Clockwork Orange. Fucked up movie it is. Viddy well, little brother, viddy well. Heehee. And I saw my favorite movie on tv last night AND today. Shawshank Redemption. Awsome fuckin movie. Cant get enough of it In prison, a man will do anything to keep his mind occupied. Red I wish I could tell you that Andy fought a good fight. I wish I could tell you that. But prison is no happy fairy tale. once again, the amazing Red. Man Im bored. Ill finish later. Stefs pissing me off.

 

God dammit! I fuckin hate my brother! Stefan is such an asshole! He fuckin booses me around and acts like hes my dad. Hes only 2 years older then I am. And same thing with my little brother. Hes 3 years younger and he pushes me around and tells me what to do to! Like, fuckin Christ. When I tell Jay that hes younger then me and that he has no right to tell me what to do he says oh, well, its not like you listen to anyone else in this house, you might as well listen to me. If I dont listen to Stef or my parents, what makes him think Ill listen to him. Considering the fact that hes younger then me. I tell ya, cant wait to move the fuck outta here man. Cant stand it anymore. The only way I can get away from them (especially during my grouding) is going up to my grandparents house upstairs and even there they come and piss me off. I can wait to get out of the house. I cant wait to go out right after school and then come back like at 10 or 11pm. Anyway, Im done ranting.

 

GOD! FAMILY SHOULD DDDDIIIIIEEEEEEE! AHHH!! >.< **smashes head against wall**

July 24th
 
Listening to: Deftones - 7 Words
Mood: Pissed    >.<
 
yeah, ok, let me tell you about my little adventure to downtown... Kay and i went downtown to get smokes then pizza. we then waited for the upper james at gore and the bus driver said "you cant come on with that." and he was leaving in 1 minute so we started scarfing down our pizza and i threw the rest of my crust out. as i was walking back to the bus the guy closed the door, then Kay got him to open then doors, i grabbed her pizza, ran to the garbage can, threw it out, started running back and he drove off with Kayla on the bus. Kay was also called a stupid freak by the bus driver. so yes..complaining and getting people fired is nice.
 
then, when Kay's grandpa called my house, my little fucker of a brother got all rude towards him because her grandpa was worried that i would be stuck downtown. i mean, fuck. he's a fuckin jerk. i was so humiliated by the way he acted towards her grandpa because her grandpa is so nice. Jason has to get an ass kicking. he doesn't understand that his "i'm big shit, i'm never wrong, it's everyone elses fault" attitude doesn't impress the ladies or anyone else...and THAT'S why he doesn't have any friends. he tries to look cool for my older brother and his friends, so he decides to try to boss me around, seeing that he thinks that the world revolves around him and that everyone should bow down to him. i really wish he would smarten up before he got any worse...like fuck.

September 14th
Listening to: tv in the backround...Donnie darko.
Mood: exhausted, but fuckin great :D
 
Last nights show.. *orgasms* Ethria did fuckin amazing. Corey did a great job for his first show... man, he did better then i did. ha! which isn't a surprise because he's only like...the greatest drummer i've ever known :) they covered st. anger by metallica. oh god, the pit hurted me and i fell. :) but kyle picked me up:) go me! then during 13 stitches, holy shit. that was..amazing. best show i've seen them do so far. that stitch force guy called me and evil little child because i was going fuckin nuts and kicking everyone in sight. :) he's right though...i am evil :p when we went on after the stitch boys, there wasn't alot of people at first, but the crowd got much bigger during our first song. i had so much fun! *dances* a couple little things pissed me off though, but it doesn't matter. man, i was beating the living fuck out of the drums, especially during October. i was jumping off my chair and shit...*orgams* i love that song now. and innocence failed during my little drum solo dingy, i went faster then i usually do. man, the crowd went nuts when i finished that. i was very satisfied about how we did last night. it was an awsome set. best we've done so far.

Sept. 28th
Listening to: the sound of me crying
Mood: depressed, angry
 
I cant believe it. the day came...i dreaded this day. i always thought my puppy would live forever...he lived for 12 fuckin years. i've had this dog since i was 5. i cant believe he's gone. i'm gonna miss him so much...i miss him already...and to think that last time i say him was at 2 o'clock this afternoon...but, he was a sick dog. he's been quite sick for awhile. we put him down today. he had a good run...so many memories with him.
i'm so pissed...why did he have to leave now?!? i wanted to do so much shit with him..i wanted to bring him for car rides when i got my license...he loved car rides. i wanted to bring him for walks on the mountain brow, come visit him when i move out... i want him to come back! i screamed and cried when they were putting him down...i was in the van when they were doing it because i was a mess..i was in the van, screaming for them not to take him away from me....crying..freaking out..i wanted to break something! FUCK!
i'm gonna miss how he always knew when i was upset...and he would cuddle up to me and lick my hand as if trying to make me feel better...it always did make me feel better. i would stare at him all the time..trying to read his mind. i would talk to him all the time, because i knew he would listen and not talk back...he would just sit there and look at me. i could swear he understood every word that i said.
i never thought this day would come..i never thought it would come so suddenly. Jordan was my favorite dog. he was also my first dog. he's the best dog anyone could ever have. i know, to you, it's just a dog and shit...but he was my best friend. i loved him with all my heart and i still do... i miss him. i want my puppy to come back..


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